Double-Standard Romance
I recently finished binge-watching Emily in Paris. I thoroughly enjoyed it as fun escapism, but then it got me thinking. This show has a range of “triggers” that regularly makes romance readers scream, shout, and leave appalling reviews—you know those ones which are scathing and I wish I could eradicate? Yep, those.
These “triggers” and romance book “must nots” include cheating and having sex with multiple partners. We witness it all on screen, yet from pretty much everywhere I’ve looked over the past few weeks (especially the week the show aired), my social media feed has been filled with glowing reviews, praise letting friends know how fun and hilarious and witty the show is. Which, in my humble opinion, it really is.
With this outpouring of positive feedback from romance readers—who I know for sure many of are hardcore haters of cheating and the main character having sex with multiple people—I can’t help but wonder why is it acceptable in a TV show or movie, but not our books?
The mind boggles.
I’ve spent some time trying to think outside of the box and figure out possible reasons for this and was really hoping for your input too. I would genuinely love to know the difference, and why and how the rules shift and don’t apply to one media but they do to the other.
And there’s zero criticism here either.
I’m a firm believer in "we like what we like," and as long as readers or viewers don’t come at me bashing my choices, as far as I’m concerned, we’re golden.
So, my musings.
Why is cheating and sex with multiple partners specifically acceptable to romance readers in TV shows and movies they watch but not the books they read?
Is it because…
there’s a much greater distance between a TV character and the viewer than between a book character and a reader? The simple fact that we usually don’t get such a deep insight into the character’s innerworkings, their emotions, and their internal reactions of a TV character means perhaps a viewer doesn’t get as emotionally invested, maybe?
even in romance TV shows and movies we’ve become almost immune to what could be construed as “immoral” behavior? Have we come to expect much more vivid and heart-stopping conflict on the screen that we simply don’t “put up” with in our reading material?
reading is an often isolated and private experience that we do it for complete escapism? Does this mean we don’t want to be reminded of very “normal” conflicts and situations that happen in the real world?
we put our romance book characters on a pedestal? We expect flaws but ones perhaps more relatable, maybe more innocent?
when an actor takes on their character’s persona, we perhaps see them as more real, therefore more flawed? Does this mean we expect human beings (but only when brought to life on screen) to make more mistakes, which we can more easily forgive?
I would love a true answer to this, maybe one that’s been studied by a psychologist or something. But how about you? Your experiences and your reactions are real and your own. There’s certainly no right or wrong answer to the whys in this scenario.
I’d love for you to share your thoughts and keep the conversation going.
Have yet to read a book that covers some of the above themes?
If so, are you a fan or not so much?
